Thursday, February 15, 2018

Valentine

Thursday:

So it was Valentine's Day yesterday. Tim and I exchanged boxes of chocolates (both Lindor balls, different flavours) and he made an effort to sit on the couch near me while I was watching my favourite show (My Kitchen Rules) last night, but otherwise we didn't celebrate in any way. I'm still slowly on the way up from flu and had that horrible night of little sleep, Tim was actually feeling worse again with his flu. So we just sat in the same room felling rotten and had to be content with that!

I'm feeling a bit better again today, slight improvement every day but much slower than I'd like. I've been sick three weeks now if you include a few days when I thought I was better before getting sick again. At least I had a great sleep, unconscious for about nine hours.

I was getting increasingly paranoid about the fact I had nothing to wear if suddenly called upon to look neat and professional rather than stay-at-home mother and student (I have worked since the children were born but almost entirely from home with no customer contact, only six weeks in an office quite a few years ago and in winter) so today I did a bit of clothes shopping. I found a nice khaki pant that will go with several tops I already own, so that was a relief. Also grabbed on sale a few non-work tops and a skirt that unfortunately goes with nothing I own! I’ll need a plain white top to go with that one. I tried on many things and was exhausted by the time I got home. I made the kids walk to their afternoon sport. Apparently the coach was dubious about their walking home again! It's twelve minutes walk away, fine weather, in full daylight along streets that are neither isolated nor too busy, a safe city in a safe country, the two of them always together, and Jasmine is 14. I consider myself an overprotective mother but even I thought that was fine!

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Back to TAFE

Wednesday:

TAFE is back this week, which I am really glad about. I felt well enough yesterday to drag myself to my first class. I only have three units left plus work placement to finish my degree. TAFE classes are pretty small, there are only 16 computers in each classroom, but this unit had nearly double that! They've asked if half of us can move to another free timeslot and since it's the only class I'm doing face-to-face and I don't care which day as long as it fits around kids school times, I'll be one of them. It worked out well, I know all but one of the people in the moving half but almost no-one in the other half! It was nice to see people from last year and chat. I didn't get to talk to Lauren, the girl who got the internship I wanted, I'd love to hear how it's going. I think she feels a bit awkward that she got it instead of me but I don't blame her for that!

The class I'm doing face-to-face is a higher-level subject which only the Diploma students do (some other classes are shared with Cert 4) assessed on one big research paper, I've already got an idea of what I want to do mine on. The teacher said to pick something that interests you because you'll be living with it all semester! Library-related of course.

I've been eating terribly for the past couple of weeks, my weight on Monday was 73.4 kg which was an increase of 0.8 kg for the week! (The next day it was 73.1, so there is probably a lot of water fluctuation.) I definitely need to get a handle on the sick comfort eating.

I had a really bad night last night and feel awful this morning. On Monday night I had a great sleep, Tim was away on a work thing that he felt he had to go to even though he's not fully well yet either. I had a big quiet bed to myself! But he was back last night. Tim has asthma so he is a heavy breather at the best of times, but of course it is much worse when he is blocked up with flu. I just couldn't sleep with his wheezing beside me. Eventually I went out to the lounge and got a little sleep there but it's not the same as being in a bed and I didn't have sheets or anything so I was a little cool (I didn't want to turn lights on to find them), it's summer here and was a hot night so it wasn't cold but it's still nice to have a covering. When I staggered back into our room just before Tim had to get up he didn't even know I'd been gone!

I'm certainly not perfect in the quiet sleeping stakes, by the way, I have sleep apnoea and of course currently the remains of the flu so I'm sure I'm just as bad! I know my CPAP machine (which I haven't used for ages) really disturbs his sleep (mine too!). We don't have a spare room here but I've been thinking seriously that we need a daybed set up somewhere for when we need it. There have been many nights when I've felt like I just can't stand being kept awake. We still have Aiden's old bedframe (he got a loft bed when we moved here), I'd just need to get a mattress. Kind of weird having a bed set up in the lounge, but I think it can look ok, I've seen it done. If we can get rid of the huge old TV cabinet that we tried to give to the Salvos but they didn't want it, and use that corner. You can make a daybed look more like something to sit on. But ready to crawl into. Are mattresses supposed to be replaced every ten years? If so we all need new ones!

I think Facebook is going to far with its targeted advertising. I was thinking about the daybed thing yesterday after the good night's sleep alone, hadn't mentioned it to anyone or looked up anything online, logged onto Facebook in the afternoon and there it was - an ad for a daybed. Mindreading is a step too far. It was a bit scary, really. Had I seen the ad in previous days and that's what made me think about it?

I feel like 2018 hasn't been great so far. I've been sick a lot of the time, depressed a bit, the weight loss isn't going well. I hope things pick up. I'll enjoy getting back into study.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Snotty

Sunday:

Not much to say, still sick. Tim basically has to go to work tomorrow whether he’s felling better or not. Jasmine is doing ok and already back at school. Aiden hasn’t been sick at all. I’ve moved into the  snotty nose and sore throat phase. So tired. I nap a couple of times a day. Surely it’s nearly over? TAFE goes back this week. I will have work placement this semester and I have no clothes suitable to wear. Since I lost some weight all my old clothes are baggy (I didn’t have much anyway) but the only new things I have are a pair of very tight jeans and a pair of denim shorts. No work appropriate clothes for the lower half!

I’ve been doing lots of reading and watching TV, like the Winter Olympics. Eating the wrong foods, easy carbs like toast and 2-minute noodles, or home delivery like Thai tonight.

I’m supposed to look after Emma for a while tomorrow. I don’t think her parents really have any other option. I hope I feel better, and I hope I don’t pass on my germs.

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Spread of germs

Tuesday:

Well Tim was sneezing all morning before he left for work and Jasmine had a sore throat and runny nose... I'm still tired and headachy but better than yesterday.

Wednesday:

...and today both Tim and Jasmine were home sick. And Tim pulled a muscle in his back sneezing so now can hardly walk.

I continue to improve, although now my gums are really sore! It hurts when I floss.

Yesterday Jasmine’s school contacted me to say she had been marked absent at roll call and I hadn’t called to let them know she wasn’t coming in. Even though she’d gone to school as usual. The first time this happened last year I had a bit of a panic, but now after it’s happened a few times I just ask them to check as she is a quiet little person, easily missed. And they find her in class where she is supposed to be. So today it happened again, and I’m thinking “two days in a row? Of course she went to school.... oh yeah that’s right she didn’t.” Luckily this response only happened in my head!

Monday, February 5, 2018

The dreaded lurgy continues

Monday:

This week I only lost 0.2 kg, another puzzlingly small amount considering I’m eating way less than my tracker says I’m burning. I’ve decided not to ask my doctor for another script for Duromine, no point putting up with side effects and possible dangers when I’m not even losing weight on it! If I ever try it again (don’t know if i will) it would have to be after a much longer break than the two months I waited this time. It’s disappointing, because it did work well for me last year. I had one pill left but didnt bother to take it today.

Well, I shouldn’t complain too much, I’m now 72.6 kg which is 12.1 kg less than I was around six months ago, and the lightest I’ve been for years. I’ll continue trying to lose without the help of an appetite suppressant.

I’ve had the flu continuing most of the week, mainly aching back and general fatigue. I felt mostly better by the end of the week and since we had a cooler week I was able to get a lot done in the garden, but then I started feeling really tired again yesterday and woke this morning aching all over worse than ever! And at bedtime Jasmine said she was feeling sick.

Aiden went back to school (starting year 6) on Tuesday, and Jasmine (year 9) on Wednesday. Jasmine’s actual birthday was on Tuesday so it was just the two of us. We went out to lunch and saw the movie Pitch Perfect 3 (again). Her main present from us was a set of handstand bars for gymnastics - not as impressive as that sounds, they are two low stands like little footstools that you can grip which is more comfortable than hands flat on the floor. Jasmine’s final birthday celebration was an extended-family dinner last night. I didn’t enjoy it much because I was starting to feel sick again but didn’t want people to know because I had just served food I had prepared! Hope it wasn’t germy.

On the days I was feeling well I spent hours out in the garden. I had an exciting moment when I realised I had just disturbed a wasps’ nest in a neglected corner. I ran for it, and didn’t get stung. Over the next couple of days I made several lighting attacks with a can of spray, eventually the big paper nest was empty. I rarely use poisons but make an exception for wasps and red back spiders. Everything else gets to stay - as long as it’s outside.

My niece Emma started kindergarten last week, and as both parents work some days and they are still sorting out after-school care, I’ve been booked in for a few days of babysitting spread over the next few weeks before Ping’s parents become available. I find Emma quite exhausting - she is so full of energy! And today was tricky because I was feeling pretty awful and I also had to get Jasmine to dance lessons. But of course I am happy to help, and they don’t often ask me to babysit. I picked her up from school - the same one Aiden goes to, but he usually rides his bike as it’s not that far - and we kept her entertained for a couple of hours. It must have been ok as she didn’t want to leave when her mother arrived.

Hopefully Jasmine and I both feel better tomorrow.

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Pool party

Monday:

This morning I weighed 72.8 kg. A dramatic loss of.... (drumroll please) 0.1 kg for the week. I suppose it's better than the gain I'd been showing most of the week. But very unimpressive.

I'm still feeling a bit yuck with flu, achy and sore throat, and Tim was feeling off yesterday too. He went to work today though.

Jasmine had her pool party yesterday (actual birthday tomorrow) and it was a great success. I didn't take photos because it seemed a bit intrusive considering they were all in swimming costumes the whole time. But I did get a photo of the (very expensive) gelato cake.
Jasmine is badly sunburned on her face and arms, and so is the girl who stayed for a sleepover. Not sure about the ones who left after the party. I hope they are not too bad. They all had sunscreen on, but were out in the Australian sun for several hours. I guess we should have had the party later in the day, but it was such lovely weather for a pool party! I went swimming after the girls left, and the water was almost too warm to be refreshing. There is no shade out there until quite late in the afternoon, this time of year. I feel guilty, I should have planned better somehow. At least they all seemed to have a great time, constant shouting and squealing.

Saturday, January 27, 2018

Missing the party

Saturday:

I’m trying to remember what I did this week... Tim was back at work but the kids were on their last full week of summer holidays. We shopped for new school shoes, swam in the pool, worked in the garden, and saw The Greatest Showman which is loosely based on the life of P.T. Barnam, very enjoyable with some great music. The kids completely missed the reason Zac Efron’s character was ostracised for liking the acrobat girl (he was white, she was black, didn’t occur to my kids that could be a problem) and they were also surprised a fat man appeared in a freak show - I had to explain obesity was much less common 150 years ago.

Emotionally I’ve been fine, increasing carbs seems to have done the trick. Unfortunately I’ve also increased total calories a bit and my weight drifted back up, I don’t really see how that is possible as I’m still eating well below what I use/burn each day. But these fluctuations happen. I have one more week of Duromine then I’ll have to decide if it’s worth continuing if I’m not losing weight. I definitely haven’t had as good an experience with it this time round.

I felt a bit unwell when I got up this morning; aching back, neck and legs. Tim reminded me I’d worked hard in the garden yesterday and it was probably muscle soreness from that, so I went off shopping as planned. It’s Jasmine’s birthday next week and we hadn’t got any presents yet - her main present ordered online may or may not get here on time because the company had a long shutdown over Christmas/New Year. I managed to get some nice things for her but felt increasingly unwell and I think I have the flu. I’ve stayed home this evening while Tim and the kids are out at Tim’s dad’s 70 th birthday party.

I’m sorry to miss it, it’s quite a big event, with a room hired and food catered and a string quartet, and all the family and friends there. Ten years ago I was there at his 60th, Des gave a long but entertaining speech about his life - he said usually people hear about all that stuff from someone else at the funeral but he thought it was nicer to tell us himself. He’s very much a talker, he could draw a random subject out of a hat and lecture for an hour, making stuff up if he didn’t know! I always leave the room when he gets on to politics. At his 60th he gave a 45 minute talk, with slides, between dinner and dessert. The speech was good, but I had to stare at a buffet laden with desserts that I wasn’t allowed to eat yet! Torture.

I hope I’m better by tomorrow, Jasmine’s having her birthday pool party here. I’ll have an early night.