Saturday, October 31, 2015

Farewell party

Sunday:

We had a very busy day. First it was Aiden's birthday party, a little early so that he could share it with his current friends. We went to the indoor powerkart raceway.
 (Aiden is on the floor in front of the podium.)
They had a great time.

Then after lunch and a quick house clean, we had our farewell party, just a gathering of friends here at our house. Very simple food (cheese and crackers, dip, chips etc) and sitting around chatting. It was really nice. I guess I will miss some of them after all! The kids also had some of their friends over, but we barely saw them except when they came raiding food. Mostly off doing their own thing.

After everyone was gone I was glad to sit quietly, alone with my iPhone games. Although nothing I did was particularly hectic, it was constant all day.

Three days to go!

Non-halloween

Saturday:

Happy Halloween to those who celebrate it. We don't, but a couple of times in the past we've had one group of kids turn up at our door and I've scrambled to find something to give them (luckily, ahem, I always have something in my private stash) so this year I thought I'd buy something Halloween-themed. Australian shops seem to advertise it these days. But at my local supermarket yesterday they had one cardboard spider hanging from the ceiling and some fun-size bags of chocolates on sale, that was all. Nevertheless, I had the Freddo frogs near the door tonight, ready to hand out just in case, but no one showed. Could be because we didn't have our outside light on! I'm not that keen to promote a foreign holiday based on sugar and horror anyway. And pumpkin, yuck.

Some more packing today. I wasn't feeling very well, I think it's just the hay fever. I did have a great afternoon nap. You know when you wake up after a complete natural sleep cycle so you feel good instead of all groggy and grumpy? Yeah, that.

Friday, October 30, 2015

Not much

Friday:

Change of pace today. I did the shopping and then some paperwork, with half an hour nap in front of the TV after lunch. I can't sleep during the day if I lie on my bed, but no problem when sitting up in my armchair with the TV on! Tim packed one box and did some other stuff, I didn't pack anything at all.

My best friend in Canberra came over with her kids after school. One of the last after-school chats I'll have with her. Actually she's the only thing I'll miss. And hopefully we'll keep in contact. I know we will for a while, then it will probably go back to just "liking" each other's Facebook posts. It's hard to stay really close friends when you rarely meet. I have other friends who have moved interstate (or I did) and you visit a few times and call or email often, then less often, then you are down to commenting how much their kids have grown when you see a photo.

Canberra is a pretty city and we had a nice 15 years here but I'm definitely ready to move on. Everything is progressing smoothly. Busy non-packing weekend is coming up, we are having Aiden's birthday party a couple of weeks early and a farewell party. The CDs I decided to leave out for the party (the rest are packed) are all our "Hits of Summer 2007" type ones. I figured it was a good representative sample of the sounds of our time here.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

100 boxes

Thursday:

Well guess what we did today. No prizes sorry, you were right, more packing. We have hit the 100 box point. That was my total estimate after getting to about 50, but we still have plenty more to pack so I hardly dare make another guess. Another 25 at least but maybe a lot more. You get thrown off when a food processor with all its attachments takes up nearly a whole box by itself!

Doing all this packing is more physical activity than I am used to, but a lot less than Tim usually does so he takes the kids out when they get home from school. He wonders why I don't want to come for a walk, meanwhile I'm half asleep in my chair.

Some of my tiredness may have an additional cause, we've had the worst pollen counts for years - much worse than last year when I was obviously affected by hayfever - so it could be partly that. On Tuesday, when I was feeling particularly sleepy all day, they said afterwards that the pollen counts were through the roof that day. I might be better off inside for a few more days.

One week until moving day.

[Later: After the kids came home with their pollen-covered shirts, and I also had some windows open for a while, I got really headachy and sleepy and burning eyes - definitely hay fever! I'm just going to stay inside with a bag over my head until Spring is over.]

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Aquaplan

Wednesday:

More packing. Up to box 90.

Short walk with Tim.

Last night I was looking at the local gym near our new place, getting exciting about all the group classes at a perfect time for me (9:30am, after I get the kids to school, is when I like to go), but then I started to get a bit worried about my ability to do group classes at the moment. My knee was sore for several hours yesterday after just getting up after kneeling on the floor. Can it take running and jumping and lunging?

I'm good at finding problems but I like to think I can also find solutions if it's actually something I'm motivated to do (not something I'm looking for excuses for). And I've decided if gym activities are too much for me at the moment I'll spend time in the local swimming pool instead. Everyone says exercise in water is very kind on joints. It will be summer here, so being in an (indoor, shady) pool is appealing. We actually want to get a pool at our new house but don't know yet how much that costs or how long it takes. And once I've strengthened the knee and my dodgy shoulders, then I can do more high-impact and weights.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Bare walls

Tuesday:

More packing today. I took the art off the walls and it looks very bare! Jasmine commented when she got home from school how strange it looks. And we went out and bought Tim a new suit for his new job. Charcoal grey. He's always worn a suit but we thought it was nice to have a brand new one. I felt very tired all day and had a nap in the afternoon.

Health issues are definitely creeping up on me. The last couple of years everything seems to be deteriorating with the sleep apnoea and the glucose intolerance and shoulder issues and knee issues. Pretty much everything is related to my weight, and therefore under my control (which is a good thing as it means I can change it). Except my current problem. I've had what I thought was a blister on one foot but it's been there for months. It didn't trouble me too much most of the time, sometimes painful. But now I have another one on the sole of my other foot and it hurts when I put weight on it - i.e. when I walk. At first I thought it was a splinter or maybe an insect bite, but it's been a few weeks now. So I think it's a plantar wart (euw). There isn't a lot you can do about it until your body fights off the virus, which typically takes several years! It isn't too bad when I have very padded supportive shoes on, like my sneakers, but barefoot or unpadded shoes mean it's quite painful to walk on. And we're nearly into summer! Oh, and they're contagious, so I don't want to be walking around barefoot anyway. Yuck. I'll get a doctor to look at it after we move, but according to the internet treatments are generally ineffective as the wart has deep roots and will just come back if you freeze it off. The rest of my family has all had warts in various places over the past ten years and they all took about three years to get rid of, with or without treatment. Mine are less visible (good) but more uncomfortable (bad). I need to walk around!

Value meal

Monday:

Tim was home today and we got lots of packing done. We've nearly finished the books (we have a LOT of books) and the board games (we also have a lot of board games!). I think we are up to box 79.

I did the grocery shopping and then picked up a rotisserie chicken and some chips for our lunch. The server drew my attention to the fact that if I chose a value meal I could get the exact same things plus a drink for less money. Now if she'd said it cost a bit more (but still a great saving!) I wouldn't have even considered it, but $1.50 less? They are paying me $1.50 to carry a drink out the door. So I did. The only choices were fizzy drinks, which I don't like and have maybe 3 or 4 times a year under particular circumstances. I asked for a Mountain Dew, which I haven't had for many years, and thought I'd have a few sips before I tossed it out.

And it was delicious. I was really surprised at myself. I actually had several mouthfuls before I made myself throw it away. It tasted very good. And I already have a little mouth ulcer, which I only get after big doses of sugar, so it is scary how much there was in those few mouthfuls. I just don't understand why I liked it though! Generally I've lost my tolerance for ultra-sweet things.

So I was fooled by the value-meal trap, where you think you are saving money but at what cost? Did I lose $1.50 worth of health today? Not worth it! Next time I'll just get exactly what we need. And stick to water with a squeeze of lemon.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Beach wedding

Sunday:


We spent the weekend at a beach wedding, with a lot of driving each way. Three and a half hours to Sydney, dropped the kids off with family, then another two and a half hours. The beach was beautiful and the weather perfect - at least I thought it was just the right temperature but the guests from sunny Queensland thought it was freezing! Depends what you are used to.


The bride was one of Tim's many cousins, I don't think I'd actually met her before. I didn't know a lot of people. Tim's father and a couple of aunts. Tim's brother was there, but as children weren't invited my sister-in-law just came to the beach ceremony with my niece and then they stayed at the beach while we went on to dinner.

You notice there are no photos of me. I did take some, but was deeply unhappy with them.

The reception was in a pavilion at a pretty farm. The grounds were lush and green with a partiere garden and roses. The food wasn't so great, but I kind of expect that at a wedding where the caterers are trying to feed so many people all at once. One unusual thing was that all the speeches were after the first course, so everyone got pretty hungry with the long wait before they got their main course and dessert. But the speeches were touching and funny.


We stayed at a hotel nearby and breakfasted near the water,

then headed back to Sydney. We'd left the kids with cousins who live a couple of blocks from the ocean, so they'd had a great time. We walked along the esplanade and had fish and chips at the beach (much more crowded than the isolated beach where the wedding was!)

then walked back.

It was a hot day, much hotter than yesterday, and I had sunscreen but no hat. By the end of all this time in the sun (including quite a few extra blocks to the car as there was no parking anywhere near where we wanted to go on such a lovely day) I was headachy and a bit nauseous. And sunburned on the side of my neck where I missed a bit with the sunscreen. The drive home seemed long and difficult and I was very glad to be home, but apart from possible mild sunstroke it was a lovely weekend away.

I can't wait until we're only 20 minutes away from the ocean!

Friday, October 23, 2015

Clothes

Friday:

My baby came home from overnight school camp this afternoon. I was so glad to have him home safe. Yes I know I'm an overprotective mother! His first half hour home was him sitting on my lap telling me all about it. He's getting a bit heavy, turning nine in two weeks, but still cuddly. He was wearing different clothes than I sent him away in yesterday, but the same socks (rather filthy now) and he smelled a bit sweaty. He says they didn't shower at camp. Well, he didn't, anyway! And he didn't get a lot of sleep in a cabin of 12 little boys. He had a great time.

I bought new jeans today - currently being altered for my oompa-loompa short legs. Usually I think jeans last me at least a year, but I only bought these ones in June. Four months! The inner thigh seams are wearing out, as usual. I always wait until the last moment, just in case I lose weight and can buy a smaller size. Alas, no.

I'm going to a wedding tomorrow and I'm a bit stressed about what to wear. It should be warm enough for my nice summer dress for the afternoon ceremony on the beach, but it might get cool later at the reception and my fancy evening dress has lace sleeves that I think are too tight for me now. There were uncomfortable enough last time that I regretted wearing it, and I haven't lost any weight since then - quite the opposite. I think I'd rather put up with being a bit cold than having my arms squeezed all night. It should be warm inside anyway. The wedding is for my husband's cousin, I know his mother's side of the family very well but this is from his father's side and they live further away so I've only met them a few times. But there will be some people I know, and hopefully it will be a good event.

It was Tim's last day at his current work location today. On Monday we start packing in earnest. It's a tricky balance, because we are still using the clothes and the kitchen appliances etc! I've already packed up most of the stuff we don't use regularly, months ago. But at some point we have to pack everything, and just live with very minimal stuff for a few days.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

School camp

Thursday:

My baby went off to his first overnight school camp today. He is only eight! I'm sure I didn't go on an overnight camp until I was eleven or so. I'm dealing with it by trying not to think about it. Jasmine went on the same camp several years ago and I was a bit worried then, but she was fine; but she has always seemed more responsible and older for her age than Aiden. He is my baby!

I've got a new thing to add to my analysis paralysis about eating healthy. More and more, it seems impossible to know what healthy eating is. I tend to think that there are least a few things undisputed, but then find someone who disputes them. Today I was told that fibre is the enemy of your intestine and the cause of many of the diseases that your doctor says it prevents/cures. Like my (unconfirmed, because I haven't had a colonoscopy) diverticulitis that my doctor prescribed a high fibre diet to fix. And also, that without all that fibre you don't need nearly as much water, certainly not eight glasses, to help it move through the body. And too much water dilutes essential nutrients. Apparently I should stop eating fibre and drinking so much?!

I am exhausted. I'm sick of thinking about it. No matter what I do, it will be wrong. Every single diet plan/lifestyle change whatever you want to call it, I can tell you why it's wrong and terrible for your body. I even read today that they may have changed their minds about sitting down all day being so bad for you. For every book or article about why we should do one thing, there is another saying we should do the opposite. Everything one person says is the ultimate solution, someone else says will send you on a spiral of ill-health.

Did you know one historical treatment for diabetes was to give patients lots of extra sugar? They were losing so much sugar in their urine, it needed to be replaced. Obvious! Another treatment was a diet of whisky mixed with black coffee every two hours, no other food. It did actually control blood sugar. Dying of starvation was merely an inconvenient side effect.

I forced myself to go for a walk today. Grumbled my way through most of it. On the up side, at least there was no regret afterwards. Has anyone ever said, "damn, I wish I hadn't exercised today"? I suppose if they had injured themselves they might!

Feeling a bit lost at the moment.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Two slow days

Tuesday:

I haven't talked much about healthy living lately because I keep waiting to have a good day so I can write about that. I have good intentions every day. But I rarely make it to lunchtime before making bad choices. Today I made it all the way to mid-afternoon before I ate some chocolate-covered honeycomb. That's better than I've done for ages so I'm calling today a partial win.

I felt the effects of that 50g of almost pure sugar pretty quickly. So dopey I could barely keep my eyes open. And of course my blood glucose shot up. I had a short nap and felt much better.

Wednesday:

Later yesterday evening (unrelated to my Crunchie Bar, I'm sure) I had a rather nasty stomach upset. I had a restless sweaty night and still not feeling great this morning. Luckily I'm feeling on top of stuff I have to do. I'm packing a bit every day, but most of it will be done when Tim has a couple of weeks off work.

Monday, October 19, 2015

Use the force

Monday:

We had a quiet weekend, a bit of packing and shopped for a wedding present for next weekend. We made the most of being able to relax as it's going to get very busy soon as we start the proper packing.

I'm guessing watching the first three Star Wars movies over the past three weeks has influenced me a bit. I was walking from my car into a shopping centre this morning and as I approached the automatic sliding doors I raised my right hand and swept it to the side. I didn't even think about it, it was kind of weird really. And the doors opened! I used the force! When I realised what I'd done I grinned to myself for about half an hour.

And the weirdest thing was when I came back an hour later, that door was being repaired! Did I use the dark side by accident and break it?

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Responses

Friday:

On the rare days I don't write a blog post, it's because nothing happened all day. I spent yesterday hanging around the house waiting for other people. Plumber, for a toilet leak (just water, nothing nasty, but this house is really turning into a money pit), gardener, removalist to deliver boxes. Today just grocery shopping, really, and the moving house project management I do every day (three weeks to go!) but I'll try to craft a post out of nothing.

Yesterday I made a comment on a forum where most of the people are on a LCHF diet (low carb, high fat) which is supposed to be good for people with insulin resistance. I mentioned that when I had tried a high fat diet (a while ago) it made me really queasy and did other people have this problem and do you get used to it? I found the range of responses really funny.

1. Go whole hog (as it were) with the diet and your body will get used to it.
2. Gradually ease into the diet and your body will get used to it.
3. That queasy feeling is actually satiety and you'll get to like it. (!! I know what comfortably full feels like, and uncomfortably overfull for that matter, and stomach full of grease is not the same!)
4. You must be doing it wrong. Tell me every detail of what you ate in what quantity and I'll tell you why you are wrong to respond differently to the way I did.
5. I will completely misread/ignore what you said and respond to something else. And by the way, you are doing it wrong.

At first I felt a little intimidated, the last couple were quite confrontational - defensive because I had criticized their diet? I didn't mean to, it was a genuine question. But in the end I decided to just revel in all the attention and responded politely to everything and it is still ongoing. We have branched out into why I am wrong for continuing to eat carbs at all (the LCHF diet seems to promote less than 50 grams of carb per day) and I fine with that, always enjoy a discussion about diets.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Vitamins

Wednesday:

I intentionally walked for an hour today, but not all at once. I chose not to drive to places I had to be. I walked to my doctor's office, then back again; and later walked with the kids to the hairdresser (for Aiden, he could hardly see due to his long fringe) and home again. So it was really four 15 minute walks. Mostly pleasant but very hot outside by the last walk home uphill! I felt very overheated by the time I got home, thank goodness for air conditioning. The weather has been so variable that we're still using the heater some days and the air con other days (and of course neither as often as possible)! It is half-way through Spring here.

My doctor's visit was to check my Vitamin B12 levels, which are back in normal range which is great. It means the tablets are working and I don't need to have injections. Do I feel less tired now my B12 levels are normal? I'm not sure, maybe a bit. It's hard to tell because I also have sleep apnoea and haven't used my CPAP much in the past couple of months (I am using it every night again now). I have felt quite un-tired during most days, which is great, but I do crash pretty hard in the evening.

My Vitamin D is up a bit but my doctor is doubling my dosage to get it up higher. From what I read, half an hour of sunlight a day would also do the trick but I don't usually get that. I certainly did today.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Removalists

Tuesday:

The last price I can remember for a removalist was $800, about 15 years ago. Just my stuff, from a two bedroom flat, but quite a long distance. I've moved four times since then (single, then married with a toddler twice) and can't remember how much that cost, but one was friends with utes and the last two were short hops around the same city. For this move I was expecting somewhere in the vicinity for $2000 to move everything in a three bedroom house. We pack and unpack all boxes ourselves - it costs a lot extra to get that done for you. Tim thought I was being very optimistic with my estimate, but I was sanguine.

First guy came and looked at our stuff, gave a quote of $3784. Wow, I thought to myself, we're not going with you, are we! Second quote after filling in online inventory form; $6050! OMG! Maybe we're going with the first company after all! Both companies lend us boxes included in that price (we've packed up about half our stuff already during the de-clutter but need plenty more boxes). Third guy came and looked at our stuff today, will send me a quote tomorrow. I can always hope it will be closer to my estimate, but I'm not optimistic.

I went for a 30 minute walk today, very aware of my unfitness and all my little aches and pains. I woke up yesterday with my neck and shoulder really sore and could hardly turn my head all day, much better today but still a bit stiff. My right knee hurts when I go downhill or down steps. The tops of my feet were hurting when I walked (the tops? why?). Feeling very old and fat. Poor old me. Then I saw an old lady stumping along with her walking frame. I may be fat, but I'm not so old or unable to get around as I thought. With a bit of care, I'll be walking for a long time.

Aside from that I spent the day in more paperwork; schools, removalists, change of address notifications. Not very exciting, perhaps, but not stressful either. So much less stress since selling the house!

Monday, October 12, 2015

Term time again

Monday:

Yesterday we went to brunch at a friend's house and that was a lovely end to the school holidays. Today the kids are back at school for the last four weeks before we move. I was busy with various stuff, but I found half an hour for a nap on my bed. Lovely.

I continue to work on increasing my CPAP hours and reducing my carbs. I've found it matters a great deal which carbs - obviously sugary junk food is bad but also any rice products (rice, rice crackers, rice noodles) are terrible for my blood glucose levels, yet a couple of slices of low-GI bread is fine, a moderate quantity of potato is fine. Even ice cream is fine (probably because all the fat slows down the absorption of the sugar). So I don't have to give up carbs entirely! I'm still testing things as I go.

I continue to watch The Biggest Loser and I found last night's episode really sad. After four weeks there is still one family of three sisters (their father was voted out in week one) who fight constantly and haven't settled into any kind of healthy mindset. They are horrible to each other. The twins will yell at each other then suddenly turn on their big sister and gang up on her. And fight with the trainer, and everyone else in the house. And wonder why no one likes them. Their relationships with each other are so dysfunctional. But the extra sad bit was that Jodie - who argues with her trainer all the time and seems to sit out of half of each session because she hates the treadmill, she hates getting dirty, she hates boxing, he doesn't understand her, no one listens - didn't lose much weight and she immediately started blaming everyone else. It was her trainer's fault (???) that she hadn't exercised as much as she should have. She stood up there on the giant scale and said that it was her sister's fault she was fat because the sister moved in with her and "made her" get fat. She is an adult, and just doesn't get it. She is so sad and lonely and angry and unhealthy and she'll never change until she realises that it's her responsibility to change. Did she think going on the show and being physically present in the Biggest Loser house would be enough? No one can magically make her be thin and happy.

It's one thing to find dieting hard, or to realise that there are some external influences on your health, it's quite another to completely deny all personal responsibility. No wonder she feels powerless.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Less tidy

Saturday:

I told the children yesterday that we didn't have to keep the house spotless anymore; Aiden's response was to joyously trash his sister's room. I did make him clean it up a bit, but it's been hard on them to live in a sterile house all holidays. We definitely relaxed a bit; piles of clothes folded on the bed, a few dirty dishes, toys on the floor.

Then we were having dinner last night. And I saw the people who bought the house coming down the driveway! They knocked and asked if they could look around outside again, and inside at the ensuite bathroom. They had their friend who is builder with them, and wanted some advice (the ensuite is a bit of a problem and I assume they are going to renovate it). I said that was fine, and it was fine really I guess, but it seemed a bit odd just turning up. Most people go through the agent and give notice of wanting to see a house someone else is still living in! I picked up a few clothes off the floor but didn't worry about it too much and went back to eating dinner. I am a bit sick of not being able to relax in my own house.

Weeks ago, when we were preparing the house for showing, we packed up personal photos. We have a lot of Chinese artwork from when we visited there and I thought we should put some of the wall hangings away, I worried just a little that people might find the house "too Asian" but Tim thought we should leave it out so we did. Well the people that bought the house are Chinese! And when we met them after the auction they mentioned the art. So it seems like it influenced them in a good way.

I wanted some time to myself today so Tim took the kids to the flower festival Floriade in the morning. I really didn't want to go again anyway, it wasn't inspiring this year.

I went over to the auction of our neighbour's house two doors down - we had to change our auction time because it clashed with theirs. Their house is a bit smaller than ours but is fully renovated and absolutely immaculate and beautiful instead of slightly shabby. The bidding started just below what we ended up getting but then didn't go much higher and didn't get to their reserve so was passed in (not sold). It certainly makes me more appreciative that we got a price we were happy with. They did have a sold sticker up a bit later so they must have negotiated with the highest bidder.

I used my CPAP last night, four hours. I'll increase tonight. I'm still working on my blood glucose, a bit of rice tonight was enough to send the numbers too high. Seems I can't eat much carb at all.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Is that going home for you?

Friday:

One removalist representative came today to give us a quote for moving our stuff, and he asked me "is this going home for you?" and the answer is yes. I've never really felt like Canberra was home. Sydney does, even though I haven't lived there for 20 years. I didn't want to move back for a long time, but now I do.

We texted a few people last night about successfully selling our house and I was a bit sad I couldn't tell my mum. She would have been so happy we were moving back near her. We'd planned to for several years but had to wait for a job opportunity for Tim. Too late for mum. At least I made an effort to see her more in her last year.

We went out to dinner last night to celebrate the sale. I can't say my lower-carb efforts are going that well - for example last night I had a lower carb main (steak, and didn't eat the chips) but then had dessert! And a Cosmopolitan cocktail. Today I had a noodle stir-fry for lunch. My blood glucose numbers are still too high any time I check. Need to tighten the diet.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Sold!

Thursday night:

So stressful, but it's over with a decent result. We sat inside while the bidders and bystanders gathered outside. And no one bid. And no one bid. And no one bid. Finally the auctioneer got someone to start with a super-low bid, so far below our reserve that I misheard it! Then the bids slowly crept up. The auctioneer kept getting to "going three times" before there would be another bid at the last second! Finally it got up to our absolute minimum and kept going a bit higher to a figure we were happy with. Not delighted, but happy. It was a hideously stressful 20 minutes, but now we can relax!

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Pre-diabetes and sleep apnoea

Thursday:

I've been a bit worried lately about my pre-diabetes. I ran out of test strips for my meter a while ago but I have more now; yesterday I tested my blood glucose level six times during the day after eating my usual kind of diet. Five of the numbers were bad. Ironically, the only normal one was a couple of hours after two big homemade choc chip cookies.

One of the (many) reasons I struggle to start eating healthy is that I get paralysed by choice. Should I just count calories or go low-carb or low-fat or Paleo or no-sugar or no-sugar AND no-grain or CSIRO diet or Weight Watchers or carb cycling or intermittent fasting or intuitive eating or just exercise a lot while eating whatever I like? I flip flop between wanting to make huge changes to get fast results, or baby steps to be more sustainable. Too many choices!

Well my body is telling me more and more clearly that it cannot handle "normal" amounts of carbohydrate. It's not just a matter of being overweight and all the problems that brings, every time my blood glucose spikes it is doing my body damage. Destroying beta cells in my pancreas. Damaging blood vessels. Downward spiral into diabetes.

So the choice has been made for me. Carb moderation. I am not cutting out any particular foods/quasi-foods, but I am restricting carbohydrate to one serving in each meal and snack. One piece of fruit. One potato. One slice of bread. A couple of squares of chocolate. I know that so far my blood glucose levels are totally under my control as long as I watch my carbohydrate intake.

I don't know how I can have little bursts of worry about this then slip back into apathy - or at least not caring enough to stay committed.

My other area of focus right now is my sleep apnoea. With people inspecting our home I would have had to pack up and unpack the CPAP three times a week and I just couldn't be bothered. Also I've had the flu with runny nose and sore throat and cough etc, which does not go at all well with a CPAP mask (I use nose pillows). The result is, I haven't used it for a month or so. Well my flu is better (finally) and today is the last inspection with the auction this evening. No more excuses. I'm using my CPAP every night until we move (I like short term goals). I hate wearing it, but I need it. My brain needs oxygen. And it's hard to be at my best when I'm constantly tired.

The past couple of weeks I've been saying to myself "I'm too stressed right now, I'll worry about it after we sell the house" so it might seem odd I'm talking about this today rather than tomorrow (assuming we even sell tonight). But my body is giving me very clear signals I need to deal with it now. And what am I asking of myself, after all? Eat a bit less carb, wear my CPAP. Hardly torture.

Schools

Wednesday:

We didn't do much today because we couldn't think of anything we wanted to do! We kept asking each other and no one came up with anything. So in the morning Jasmine read and Aiden played with Lego, in the afternoon they watched a DVD and Jas made chocolate chip cookies. I did more project managing for the move all day. Organising a removalist (I'll be getting quotes from a couple), calling schools, reading paperwork and filling in forms.

Have to make sure we actually do something interesting tomorrow.

We have a several options with schools so I've been investigating a few. The closest government school is guaranteed, but we might want to go on a waiting list for one further away. It's tricky with potentially moving them around so much. Jasmine will only have six weeks left of primary school when we move, then go to another new school for high school, don't know if we want to move her yet again if we move up a waiting list to a different school. And how far away are we prepared to travel/how much prepared to pay for the school of our choice? Still deciding.

Also organising Aiden's birthday party. He turns nine a couple of days after we move so we'll have a party here a week before we go. We're going to a go-cart racetrack. Aiden went there once to a friend's birthday and really loved it.

We'll also need to organise a farewell party. Just over four weeks until we move. Goodbye Canberra!

The real estate agent and the auctioneer came over at 5 to brief us about tomorrow. It all seems pretty straightforward, especially since Tim and I have been to a couple of auctions recently. 24 hours to go.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Stress

Tuesday:

I'm having a really hard time with stress. I feel anxious and a bit nauseous a lot of the time. Only 48 hours to go now before we auction our house. I'm scared it won't sell, or not for a good price. We have timed it with impeccable bad luck. We bought right at the peak of an 18 month housing bubble, and now a couple of weeks later things have slowed down as a million people have chosen Spring to put their house on the market. It's gone from over 90% clearance rate (how many sell) to under 70%. So I'm feeling very worried and my body is reacting to the constant stress.

Today was another hot day, we're actually having a heat wave here that is supposed to end tomorrow, so I chose the indoor activity of going to see a movie, something we hadn't done yet these holidays. We saw "Oddball" which is the true story of a naughty dog who ends up a hero protecting endangered fairy penguins (the littlest penguins) from foxes on a tiny island off the coast of Australia. It is a kid's movie, and mine loved it. I am always surprised when they enjoy happy little films like this rather than big budget animation (which they also like).

Another house-cleaning session (did I mention I am over it?) that ended in a bit of disaster. The kids had helped clean but were having a short computer session before we were kicked out of our own home again. Aiden was watching something he found so hilarious and distracting on YouTube that he wet his pants laughing so hard. Did I say wet his pants? More accurately, wet the carpet like a un-trained puppy. Big puddle. Ten minutes before people were coming to look over our house again. So that was fun.

We went to the library which had just shut for the day so we sat in the park. It was nice in the shade, late in the day. The kids rolled down grassy hills and only later remembered that this always made them both horribly itchy. So they did a bit of tree-climbing. I couldn't face cooking so I picked up a couple of pizzas (proper ones) and came home.

Only four people through the house tonight, with three having been through before. A good sign, that they were interested enough to come back. I think quite a few people are coming to the auction, whether they bid or not (or bid high enough) remains to be seen.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Nap time

Monday:

Really sleepy all day for no particular reason. Could barely keep my eyes open. Had a nap before lunch, and another one in the afternoon. It's another public holiday (Labour Day) so Tim was home to entertain the kids. I didn't leave the house all day.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Botanic gardens

Sunday:

Daylight Savings started today, which is great for me as I've been waking up way too early ever since the pelvic pain thing. Clocks one hour forward.

We cleaned the house again - I am so over it! Luckily not much to do after big clean yesterday. Turned out only two people came through. I guess everyone has already seen it.

We went to the Botanic Gardens today. It is all Australian flora with all different areas of the country represented including rainforesty bits:
and "Red Centre" desert bits:

This is a statue of an oversized spiny devil:

but there was also plenty of real wildlife, lots of water dragons (lizards) sunning themselves:

little ducklings shepherded along by suspicious parents:

and even a bunny rabbit, seen here disappearing into the undergrowth:

Lots of native flowers in bloom too. Nice long walk in pretty surrounds.

Tim is loving that we are forced to get out of the house as a family so much lately.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

More outside

Saturday:

Yesterday was not very exciting. We did the grocery shopping and walked to pick up the old car Nugget in the afternoon. The engine is sounding much better.

This morning we cleaned house for two hours ready for yet another weekend of inspections - the auction is on Thursday! Then we went out to another park on another sunny day.

We started by the lake (that is a pelican in the background, there were also lots of ducks)
then Aiden and I followed the creek upstream to its source. I suppose it was only a few hundred metres but it twisted and turned and was interrupted by little ponds and miniature waterfalls and we hopped over stepping stones and it was very nice. Then we met up with Tim and Jasmine again and the kids played on the flying fox thing.

Aiden wanted to show the others the lovely creek so we walked back to the start where it bubbled out of the ground and played "Pooh Sticks". For those of you whose childhood didn't include the books about Winnie the Pooh (a teddy bear) and his friends in 100-Acre Wood, Pooh Sticks is where you each put a stick (or leaf, or piece of bark, or whatever you find) in a fast-moving stream and then run along beside shouting in excitement and dislodging it when it gets stuck in an eddy and then see who wins.

It was lunchtime so we had pizza by the lake at a place we hadn't tried before but was really good. Sriracha pulled beef! Yummy. By then everyone would have finished looking at our house so we went home. To find big black marks all over the kitchen floor lino!? Someone dragging a freshly polished shoe? A kid in roller skates? Luckily the marks came off easily enough. I'll have to ask the real estate agent.

In the afternoon Jasmine went to a birthday party at SkyZone (trampoline place) and then both children went to their irregular semi-weekly kids' Dungeons and Dragons session at a friend's house.

I had the silliest conversation with the real estate agent. While chatting, I mentioned that I was born in the city of Melbourne. He asked which part, and I said "Geelong". He immediately said his family was from there and launched into talking about the suburb, its pros and cons, and which bit his ancestors were from and how they moved there in 1933 etc. Now firstly, we moved away from Melbourne when I was one year old and I have rarely visited any part of that city since then. And secondly I am not from Geelong. I have no idea why that name fell out of my mouth. I have no association with that suburb at all, and don't know why it was even in my brain. So I sat there wondering why I had instantly said Geelong, and listened to him talk about it. There didn't seem to be any point I could break in and say "Actually I'm not from there, I don't know why I said that," without embarrassment, so I kept silent. Completely unimportant, but I felt a bit silly.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Outside

Thursday:

Another day spent mostly outside. Quite unusual for me! We did some errands in the city, which involved at least 45 minutes brisk walking back and forth, then met Tim for a nice lunch where we sat in the outdoor section of the restaurant. Then I took the kids to a nearby playground where they swang and slid and dug sand and got rather wet spraying each other with water canon things. I mostly sat and read. One great thing about older kids is you don't have to watch them every second! Although I rather regretted telling them they could get as wet as they wanted once it came time to get back in the car.


It was really nice Spring weather today, perfect to be outside. But it is going to be 10 degrees hotter by next Tuesday, like mid-summer. I've told the kids we'll have to have a couple of movie days, inside in air conditioning. I'm glad we've been outside while the temperature was milder.

I was going to leave rescheduling my doctor appointment until the kids were back at school in a bit over a week, to get test results, but my throat is still swollen and sore even though my flu is mostly over. I'm worried I need antibiotics. I have a tendency to throat infections whenever I get sick. I'll give it a few more days.

These school holidays have been pretty nice so far, but I need to think of some more things to do! Tim was going to take some time off but we decided we needed to save his days off for the big move in a few weeks, so I have to entertain the kids by myself. Not that they are difficult to entertain, but home is a bit boring at the moment with half their toys packed away. They enjoy being out and about anyway.